diary of the call girl next door

I'm a pretty simple girl who has taken up escorting to help pay off school debts. I know that I catch eyes on the street, but I see myself as the girl next door. Or, more accurately, the girl in the apartment next to you who happens to be a call girl. Here is where I try to keep track of my evolution in the industry.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Becoming Emotional

CCG made a comment on my previous post regarding my fairly glib comment about client and worker emotions in the world of escorting. I started responding to it in the comments section and decided just to put it here:

I too hear the amazingly frequent stories of clients and escorts forming strong emotional bonds; I cannot pretend it doesn't happen. I do think one of the worst things is when the money spent is what ruins a family.

Of course, CCG came to mind as I was writing about this idea. I think, however, that my previous mindset was that it would be inevitable that a man seeing a high-end call girl would form an attachment to her. I never truly understood the difference that should be inherent with a paid professional, versus, say, a mistress. "The Other Woman" was a taboo and sensitive topic to me and I used to vigourously denounce cheating in any way, shape, or form. I feel differently now. For me, it is much easier to see now how detached yet fulfilling sex can be possible without emotions interfering.

If only life were simple. I would love to think that it could be, that I could find a nice guy and settle down with him. But I just do not believe it; humans are too complex and fickle, and most are too afraid to own up and fix the things that need fixing in their relationships.

And I have a feeling that what they say is true: Once you've started in this business, you never truly leave. Of course that could be me making an excuse in advance for when the time comes that I should leave but do not.

I suppose I cannot really speak to what I would do or how I would feel until I have been in those shoes. If I do form an emotional attachment to a client, then I am sure I will change my tune in a hurry. For now, however, my biggest priority still is, and must be, paying off my bills; it is all I can focus on. Emotional attachments would probably hinder my progress and I just cannot afford to have that happen.