Settling In

Thinking about the possibility of dating, and remembering that I was in fact dating someone when I began escorting, I realize that I separate my two lives with much more facility than I give myself credit for.

It is getting easier, or becoming more of a second nature, to deal with escorting as yet another compartment (to borrow an overused escort-journaling term) of my life. I rarely consider it all anymore in my everyday affairs, with the exception of occasional musings on the status of my business -- ways to improve marketing, and such.

Occasionally friends in tight financial situations joke about becoming prostitutes, and I laugh along with them. I do not even think, "If they only knew!" anymore.

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I recently had a client elaborate with me on the profound effect I had on his life. Many toss off comments about how their lives have been changed, the missing factor that they've discovered in me, and so on. Few go into much detail, and for this I am grateful.

I get tired of hearing about the problems in clients' lives. Really, I do not like to hear much about their personal lives at all, because often they paint a picture of a hunky-dory, if humdrum, existence. It makes me worry that I may some day be in a marriage where I think everything is okay while my husband runs off and finds a little variety on the side. Then again, I have to wonder how much of a problem I would have with this. Do I believe that the concept of an open marriage is right for me? Ask me a year ago today and my answer would have been a vehement "NO". If I felt emotional attachments might be formed, I would still say no. But having seen the other side of the game, I truly do not know. I see more clearly how simple it can be to separate sex and emotions.

One thing I do know, however, is that, should I ever get married (an unlikely event, and a topic for another time), I will do my damndest to keep my man satiated in every area of our relationship. Most of the men I see who are married really do not get sex or intimacy at home. A minority are just bored, or simply cannot get their wives to perform "X" on/to/with them, but most of them just are not getting any. And I certainly cannot fault them for seeking it out elsewhere.