Just Another Chunk Of Change

I have taken to feeling extremely detached from this job. Not from the work, no, I enjoy the work. But I see most appointments as money until the moment I am in the person's presence. I think this is my way of calming the nerves and not working myself up over the meeting. Though I do enjoy the build-up and anticipation with a lot of clients, while I am actually getting ready and during the trip to meet the person, I remain extremely detached, not thinking about the nature of what lies ahead.

I have an appointment this afternoon with a regular. Regular appointments start becoming slightly confusing to me. I am tempted to dress down, to throw something on and run out the door with just barely enough leeway to appear on time.

New appointments are almost never like this. Once in awhile they are, and I have to laugh at myself, sitting at home 2 hours before the date - hair a disaster, makeup smeared from the night before, unshowered, unshaven, completely unprepared. Yet I always manage to fix myself up and both present and play the part of a high-priced call girl.

In a normal situation, I will spend a good part of the day, or time in advance preparing for a new date, picking out a new outfit, some new lingerie, going to the salon, and so forth.

Regulars, though. Depending on the client, I tend to not get too giddy at the prospect of the appointment. For one thing, some of my regulars tend to see me frequently enough that there is no thrill, no titillation, no pent-up desire to release. Some just do not incite any passion in me (and yet, there are some who do).

The last time I saw this man, let us call him Walter, I put some effort into dressing up; I treated him as if he were a new client, even though he was a regular by then. He mentioned that I looked great, and we lounged around and chatted for a bit. Soon enough the clothes came off and I had to wonder if my preparation really mattered at all. It is hard to tell, sometimes. Perhaps the time that I spent reclining on his bed in my dress, the glass of wine in my hand, was a visual turn-on to him. Maybe my makeup and hair is part of what he is paying for when he sees me. I tend not to think so, though.

Not that I think I should neglect my appearance. There is, however, a distinct difference between a dinner appointment and a casual appointment. First-timers are always dinner (occasionally lunch) appointments, and they tend to be a bit more formal, requiring a specific dress and demeanor. Hence my confusion with regulars. Do they expect me to continue dressing up? Daytime meetings allow a little leeway, but for an evening appointment, what is expected? I have never shown up to appointment in jeans, but I am tempted at times like this.

Right now I am sitting in my bedroom, typing here when I shold be showering, considering doing some laundry. I have about 90 minutes to get ready to see Walter, and I have no idea what I will wear. I am not even positive I have any clean lingerie -- or regular underwear, for that matter -- to wear for him. Sure, a whore can get away without the panties, but that tends to work best with a skirt. My dress style with Walter has been far more classy and elegant than a short skirt with no underwear. Changing it up seems a bit risky; he is a good source of income, after all. On the other hand, maybe it would be fun for him.

My original point was that the job is still a job. As I half-heartedly sort through my clothes trying to pick out an outfit, I keep telling myself: Just get it overwith. Two hours and you're done, you'll have your $[insert ridiculous amount of money here].

The reality is that I will see Walter and have a decent time. It will not be as cold and detached as I see it from out here. Walter actually does bring me to orgasm, and he as sweet and non-threatening a client as they come. He is not particularly attractive, but neither is he obese or unattractive.

I have a strong urge to masturbate right now, but I will save it for Walter.