Getting Seasoned

Until now, I still considered myself a fairly newbie-ish escort. Yes, I have been at it for longer than many, but I did not see very many clients and considered each one a new and exhilirating experience.

For the most part, I still find a certain thrill in seeing new clients. Of course, there is currently the dark cloud of my fear of STDs, which has only slightly abated, but I am trying to re-assess my risks and precautions in order to deal with that.

I keep a calendar where I mark down the days that I work as an escort; I only ever see one client per day, so by looking at the day I can generally remember who I saw and what the experience was like.

That time has ended for me. I was looking over my calendar for this month and I noticed that I had two appointments just last week. My first reaction was to think that I was mistaken -- I did not remember seeing two clients so recently. My second was to rack my brain over who they were. Once I remembered who the clients were, I did not, as I used to, go over the details of our time together -- I simply remembered their names and faces, and then promptly erased the memories from my mind.

The third thing I thought of was how close (temporally) my next encounter with Redford was to each of those appointments. Because I do not remember being with Redford this past week and having any thoughts of escorting, or any guilt about seeing clients when Redford and I are so obviously growing closer.

Despite this, I am still seriously thinking about put escorting on hold while I am with Redford. I am finishing up any appointments I already have scheduled, and I am going to try not to take any new ones. This is somewhat easy to say now as I require advance booking and client requests have been barely trickling in, which is extremely unusual. I am not sure what led to the slowdown, though I have been slowly drawing away from most of my internet involvement in escort circles. My tactic is to just to take it for what it is and use the lull as a natural way out for now. Normally I would have been pushing advertising before it got this slow, but the current state of things makes it easy to decide to take a break. It is somewhat frustrating as I recently paid in advance for advertising on some sites and that was a waste of money.

I only have one month's worth of savings, so I need to get on the ball with some other sources of income if I really intend to go through with this break. Hopefully I can stick to my guns and ignore any new bookings no matter how much I need the money. My newfound ability to instantaneously forget about appointments makes it ever-so-tempting to continue on this way -- perhaps not using escorting as my main source of income, but taking the errant appointment here and there for extra cash while Redford and I develop our relationship. So easy and so dangerous. We shall see what happens. I am making no promises just yet.